I Wish My Life Were Like A Musical!, Gilded Balloon at the Museum (Venue 64)

**** (4 stars)

“Everything a musical should be”

Oh goodness this show stirred up so many memories!

The opening number sets the tone – bright eyes and cheery smiles cover the quartet’s razor-sharp dissection of everything that can make an opening number truly appalling.  It’s greeted with such enthusiasm that it’s hard not to feel that at least fifty percent of the audience know this show by heart…

Four very talented performers – Emma Ralston, Joel Benedict, Rory Connolly and Samantha Dorsey take us on a journey through the life of an aspiring musicals performer – the thrills, the challenges, the disappointments, the highs [and lows] of stardom – in a non-stop stream of witty, punchy, satirical, whimsical, and oh-so-true-to-reality musical numbers created by the incredible Alexander S Bermange.  Aaron Renfree’s direction and choreography keep the audience engaged throughout, and designer Sorcha Corcoran and lighting designer Chris McDonnell produce a show that glitters, sparkles, and inspires us all with a desire to tread the boards and sing our hearts out.

Emma, Joel, Rory and Samantha introduce us to four young hopefuls, fresh out of music college and sure that they will instantly land a wonderfully satisfying and perfect job in a musical.  But first they have to succeed with an audition – and this is where my trip down memory lane began.  I resonated so strongly with so many of the situations: waiting what seems like forever for your turn in front of the auditioning panel; sure that you will be wonderful, that no-one else will have chosen the song you’ve picked, only to find that everyone else is singing that song too and, when you finally get on stage, the panel don’t bother to look at you and stop you before you’ve managed to sing more than a few bars.  Oh how depressingly familiar it all was!

Of course, if you don’t succeed in an audition, you could always take part in a performer’s showcase – assuming your performance isn’t scuppered by any number of things, not least the appalling quality of the piano that’s accompanying you.  And there are those who’ve maybe given up on their quest to be cast in a musical, and have turned into Superfans, whose passion for musicals takes over their entire lives. 

Should you make it on to the stage, being well aware of the many things that can mar or even ruin your performance, you need to begin with an apology – in this case, a list of ‘excuses’ so long and complex it’s a wonder the singer could make it on to the stage at all!  And then the title song – I wish my life were like a MUSICAL.  It seems as though life would be perfect: nothing would go wrong, it would be fit for a queen.   But oh dear: think of all the things that go wrong for characters in a musical – is this really what I want, after all?

Then joy of joys, you get cast!  But – now you have to learn the dance routine created by a choreographer who’s a masochist – it’s all a step too far.  You think things are looking up – you get cast in a leading role: but it’s as the understudy.  Every day living in hope, every day disappointed as your star turns up at the very last moment: is this to be your life forever, always standing by?

And that star – maybe their talent is undeniable.  Or maybe they are there simply because of their name, and the reality is that their talent is most definitely on the wane.  They love to sing, but goodness me they could give Florence Foster Jenkins a run for her money!

Then you get cast in an actual role.  An extensive period of preparation is needed each day if you are to bring your best to this role: is it really worth the effort?  Things are looking up – you are now the co-star in a romantic role: but that, too, is fraught with danger as you lead up to the dramatic/ traumatic climax of the show…   Even reaching the top of the bill, taking the starring role, so much is demanded of you – social media duties take up so much time as you let everyone know just how humble and unspoilt you are.  They also bring you the attention of equally media-savvy fans…

There are, of course, ardent fans of musicals who nonetheless have to keep this part of their lives hidden, as their friends would never dream of exposing themselves to such a frivolous art form.  And then there’s the DIVA, who makes life hell for everyone around them.

During a career in musicals, you’re going to come across any or all of these situations – you’ll either work with, or turn into, one of the awful people we’ve seen on stage this evening.  So why do it, why put yourself through all that misery?  The honest answer is it’s who I have to be – the magic, the elation of creation, the joy of performing make it all worthwhile. 

And thus the show ends.

Or does it?

Oh no, we have to have an ENCORE, which like all the other numbers is greeted with a positive storm of applause from an audience who have loved every minute of the performance and will, quite likely, be back for a repeat  performance tomorrow.

I wish my life were like a MUSICAL was everything a musical should be – bright, funny, witty, colourful, realistic, fantastical, barbed, loveable and loving.  And, as every good musical should, it sent us out into the realities of life with a spring in our steps and a song in our hearts.

I wish my life were like a MUSICAL, Gilded Balloon at the Museum (Venue 64) for more information go to: https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/i-wish-my-life-were-like-a-musical